Defining "Chapters"

I was recently sharing the story of how I look at women’s transitions.  Transition has always seemed a bit harsh to me – it is like what happens when you go through different states of being – from solid to liquid to gas. I know there some scientific word for it that my 6^th grader learned earlier this year….  For my first blog entry , I had called it a “New Chapter”.  I chose the word “chapter” because I like the imagery of this word: a gentle movement of going forward, building on what you did before. 

But I can’t take credit for it.  I learned this concept from a wise woman who had been through transition herself. I will call her Mary. Mary was the corporate lawyer for the small software company where I worked. She worked part time on sales contracts and hr matters.  But Mary’s was a heavy hitter. She had gone to Yale undergrad, where she was on the crew team. This team was instrumental in the Title IX, equal funding for women’s sports law. Mary had a bronze Olympic medal in rowing.  She attended Harvard Law School and I had heard she was either a partner or on the partner track at a big firm in Boston.  She had children and was married. Mary was pretty impressive and clearly living a “have it all” life. But suddenly, one of her parent’s had an accident and needed much care. When this occurred Mary decided to do another chapter of her life. She made a conscious decision to slow it down, take care of her mother and family. She described it as a hard but fulfilling change. Mary told me it is simply what women do – we move forward and just flip the page and write a new chapter. 

At the time, the lesson was lost on my 30 year old self.  I was half listening, really thinking about my next trip to Europe.  And now, 15 years later, a “chapter” has become such a positive way for me to think of my own life transition. How we “write” what is next, how we have some control, how there is a creative element to our journey.